A reality based independent journal of observation & analysis, serving the Flathead Valley & Montana since 2006. © James Conner.

16 December 2015

Flathead Memo’s musical analysis of the GOP’s Las Vegas debate

Last night’s Republican debate reminded me of debates between candidates for judge, county attorney, sheriff, or attorney general. No matter the question, the answer is always “I’ll hang ‘em higher than anyone else.” Somehow Trump, Cruz, and their stagemates managed to avoid promising to destroy ISIS by reducing Syria and northern Iraq to a glowing, glassy plain, but they vied with each other to see who could come closest.

Mike Brown at the Western Word promises comment on the debate at his blog this morning. Since the debaters didn’t face the music on terrorism or anything else, I dashed off a few verses to Home on the Range in their honor.

Home at the Vegas debate

I went to a home,
Where Republicans roam
Where the sounds of campaigning did play,
Where never was heard,
An intelligent word,
And the voters did tremble and pray.

Chorus
Duck and weave all night,
Dodge questions that get in the way,
Straight talk’s a mistake
That makes strategists quake,
The truth will just lead you astray.

To end the terrorist threat,
Just shut down the ‘net,
Take our rights and our freedoms away,
Carpet bomb ISIS,
Make an unholy mess,
Keep principle out of the fray.

Chorus

Wiretap every phone,
Record every groan,
Peep into intimate play,
Encrypt banking not,
So the bad guys get caught,
Make that the American way.

Chorus

Wear a costume bright red,
For the Vatican led,
Have a cross on chain on your chest,
Call big business out,
To help Big Brother rout,
Jihadis blood bent on a quest.

Chorus (repeat)