18 January 2020 — 2339 mst

Baseballs, batters, buzzers, and bunko

Were unethically stolen signs relayed to Houston Astro hitters by a radio activated buzzer strapped to a batter’s arm? Yes, claim internet sleuths, relying, reports ESPN’s Jeff Passan, not on hard evidence but on conjecture and convenient assumptions.

I have my doubts, but I won’t rule out the possibility.

According to most reports, cheaters in the Astros’ dugout banged on a trash can when an off-speed pitch was expected, and remained silent when a fastball had been called.

In theory, a buzzer, which could be vibrator or a solenoid tapper, could relay both the kind of pitch — fastball, breaking, or changeup — and the location. That would turn a legitimate at bat into batting practice.

I’m skeptical because the radio signal transmitting the pitch information to the batter could be picked up with sophisticated equipment and pretty quickly correlated with an at bat’s outcome.

But beating the dealer with buzzers is possible and has been tried with some success. In the mid-seventies, a group of physicists and computer scientists tried using the laws of physics to gain an edge playing roulette, an adventure described in Thomas Bass’ entertaining 1984 book, The Eudeamonic Pie (2003 review, PDF). They built computers and toe-tappers into their shoes to outwit the security systems at the casinos. They neither got caught nor got rich, but they had a hell of a good time.

Gambling is an inherently dirty business. I have no problem with counting cards, looking for indications of loaded dice, or taking advantage of knowledge of a roulette wheel’s bias, to gain an edge. Marking cards and altering equipment is another matter.

But I take exception to corking bats and to stealing signs from the centerfield bleachers. That kind of behavior corrupts the game. Those who commit it should be buzzed out of baseball for a year or two.